The George W. Bush Resume
Past work experience:
- Ran for congress and lost.
- Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
- Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt
shortly after he sold all his stock.
- Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land
using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to Chicago.
- With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
- Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most
polluted state in America.
- Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in the U.S.
- Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed
- Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
Accomplishments as president:
- First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
- In his first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
- Members of Bush cabinet are the richest administration in history. (the 'poorest'
multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
- Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
- Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
- Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
- Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
- First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by
any president in US history.
- After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the
worst security failure in US history.
- Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president
in US history.
- Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
- Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president
in US history.
- Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
president in US history.
- Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
- Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
- Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any
country in the history of the world.
- Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more
than any president in US history. · Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
- Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
- First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors
(during the 2002 US elections).
- All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
- First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against
the will of the United Nations and the world community.
- First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied
saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
- First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
- Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a
year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest
diplomatic failure in US and world history).
- Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%)
view his presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
- Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
- Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated
US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government
- Failed to fulfill pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
- Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our
country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months there are no leads
- In the 18 months following the 911 attacks he has successfully prevented
any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the
- Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
Records and References:
- At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record
has been erased and is not available).
- AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
- Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
- All records of tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to his
fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.